Another one bites the dust (or will soon)

Found out that my younger cousin is engaged. Yay Malinda! But sucks to be me. Everyone around me is getting married or engaged and I'm starting to think that I might not ever get my turn. I used to always say 'when I get married...' and now I have been saying ' if I get married...'. I'm pretty sad by that. I think that if I was able to support myself and lived alone then maybe I wouldn't feel as pathetic. Yes I said pathetic b/c that is how I feel. I feel that I haven't done anything w/ my life so far. I have been trying to fix that (looking for a new job, taking a class) but still nothing is changing how I feel. I was talking to my mom a little bit about this and she found the word that I was trying to say described how I felt... Lost!