Update

Ok so I just wanted to say that since writing my blog yesterday I have since been in a better mood. I didn't want to keep my feelings in b/c I knew that it would just eat me away and I'm not the best person to express how I'm feeling at all. Actually I totally suck at it. So blogging about how I felt was the only thing I could come up w/ to try to make me feel better. I guess writing about my feelings just makes me feel better. Plus shedding a few tears didn't hurt either.

And after talking to someone today I am starting to think that even if i were to have someone special to spend NYE w/ would I still have felt lonely like I did? Would having a b/f make that feeling go away? My mom has been telling me for awhile now that finding that one person what you want to spend your life w/ doesn't mean that all the other crap in your life will go away. I have always had it in my head that finding that someone would magically make it all go away but I think it is finally setting in that it wont be like that. Don't get me wrong I'm still feeling lonely that I don't have a better half but I think that maybe I need to try to fix the other things in my life that might be causing me to feel this way also. I just now have to figure out what that is!